Dear Klal Yisrael,... | By: Zehava Akinadé

Dear כלל ישראל,

Due to certain events that are occurring in our community, I have taken it upon myself to write this letter. This is not solely a letter of complaint, but it is also a letter for the purpose of distributing valuable information and courtesies I feel are needed in our community today. Although satirical in nature, I do write with utmost sincerity. As a Nigerian-American Jew, or a Jew of color in our community, I feel there are some issues that I would personally like to address. I will not be addressing all of the issues, but at least a few to get the mind thinking and the good middos rolling.

First, I would like to address not only the issue of general politeness, but also of halacha. I understand that for some it is very interesting, or “unique,” to meet a Jew of color, but one must understand that it is rude and halachically unacceptable to personally interrogate with every Jew you meet. Furthermore, not every Jew of color is a convert, and even if they are, halachically speaking, you are in no way allowed to ask a convert (of color or otherwise), their story, their past, or anything that reminds them that they are a convert. Additionally, what makes one think that within 30 seconds of meeting someone, a convert would want to open up and tell you their whole life story? Why would they be comfortable revealing the fine details of what made them decide to convert, and how they became interested in Yiddishkeit to begin with, to someone they just met? It is especially rude to ask while your children are staring and pointing at this new person during davening as if they have never seen a person of color in their life before, while you try to have an allegedly deep conversation. This only adds to the awkwardness of the situation for the interrogated. Instead, it is perhaps better to reconsider how or if you have taught your children proper manners. Also, for some reason people think that it is a short, simple story. If it took someone their entire lifetime, thus far, to find their truth, why imply that it is a tale easily summed up in a three-minute story by putting them on the spot under very awkward circumstances?

Next, it appears most individuals assume that converts don’t know anything. If one takes time to think on this, it should really be a very simple realization: if one has an interest in something, especially a challenging all-encompassing life changing interest such as converting to Orthodox Judaism which takes years of learning, living, and studying subject by subject, halacha by halacha, where that person then has to go in front of an ultra-orthodox Beis Din (so there are no questions about if you are really Jewish or not). Given this, what makes one think a convert wouldn’t know even the basics? So next time you want to tell me that I should move to Israel because there are a lot of “my people” there and you and I can meet you at the Kotel which is “this big wall where lots of people daven, which means to pray”… You might want to save it. Because trust me, in my head I am thinking, you and I aren’t meeting anywhere. Not the Kotel, not the 770, not even the shwarma place down the street

The last on my list, and the biggest irritant for me so far, is after you have already come up to me and asked me “Excuse me? Are you Jewish? Are you a convert? Are you married?” all in less then 45 seconds, and then you tell me “I see, well I think I know a guy for you” all I can think of is “HOW THE HECK DO YOU KNOW?” What does that even mean, and by the way, what was your name again? Honestly, do you really think you are doing me a favor when you come up to me and say, “Hey I think I know someone for you, he’s black, and he’s religious…” and I say “Well, what else do you know about him? What does he do for a living? Where is he from? How old is he? Did he go to yeshivah? Who does he hold by?” and you have no idea and look at me like I’m insane. Then, maybe, just maybe, only knowing that he is black and religious doesn’t help, especially when you have no idea what I and probably what he is looking for. I mean let’s give an example. If you went up to a religious Ashkenazi girl and said, “Hey, I think I have a guy for you. He’s Ashkenazi, and he’s religious...” And that’s it. She is going to suggest that you should continue taking your medication regularly and don’t give up you day job to become a Shadchan. I understand their excitement at the idea that they were the one to set up this super ethnic hip Jewish couple. Oh, the novelty of it all. As if we probably don’t know each other already, being two out of the six black Jews in the neighborhood.

In the end, all I am really saying כלל ישראל, is that, we are all Jews. And as Jews we should be treated with the same respect and dignity as all other Jews, Ashkenazi, Sephardi, Chassidic, Litvish, Modern, Mizrachi, Yemenite, African, Bukharian, Asian, Hispanic, Muppet, Converts, Baal Teshuvah, FFB, it doesn’t matter. And the sooner we realize this, the closer we will be to bringing Moshiach. Unity of the Jewish people matters. Should we all continue to break down our personal mental barriers and continue to embrace the diversity that the Jewish people have to offer. Let us all stand strong together as a nation, for many other nations want to see our destruction chas v’shalom. Let us all grow in our ahavas yisroel and continue to give each other chizuk so that we may ALL merit to see the coming of Moshiach speedily in our days!

Forever yours,

Zehava Akinadé

עם ישראל חי

Note: All examples above have actually occurred in my life by seemingly well meaning people.

"Even if you are not fully committed to a Torah life, do something. Begin with a mitzvah — any mitzvah — its value will not be diminished by the fact that there are others that you are not prepared to do"

- The Lubavitcher Rebbe