Shalom,
I would like to introduce myself before writing the next blog. My name is Yitzkhok Sakhai and no I’m not Chinese, I was born in Iran and raised in the United States. My Parents and I moved here when I was about 11 years old to join the rest of the Persian refugees in the land of opportunities. After elementary school I attended the Mirrer Yeshiva in New York from which I received my diploma. A while after I pursued the business life and realized it was not for me. My passion rested at a completely different corner of the word. So I went to Ohr Somayach Yeshiva in Israel and received my Rabbinical Semicha and a degree in leadership and outreach. I am currently employed by S.T.A.R. (Sephardic Tradition and Recreation) and Nessah synagogue. My life, my work and passion is to reach out to the Jewish community especially the younger generation and, Go-d willing, reignite that Jewish spark in their souls and through that build a brighter future for Jews wherever we may be. If you would like to know more about what our organization does please visit us at www.lastar.org
I thank the founders of the PiRo club and all that help it run and I am truly honored to have been asked to contribute to the Blog. Tizke Lemitzvot and Chazzak Ubaruch!!!The Torah commands us "Betezedek Tishpot Et Amitecha," meaning"you shall judge your fellow man righteously." There is a discussion among the Jewish sages as to what and to whom this passage is referring to. Some rabbis point out that this is directed towards Jewish judges as a warning to prevent bribery. But most Rabbis agree that it is a commandment and a warning to every single Jew. Each Jew is presented daily with the opportunity to judge another Jew, but we tend not to see it that way.
As a Rabbi in the PiRo community, working in the outreach field, I see this happening every day, especially targeting the younger generation.
I often find myself in the same situation, when I ask a seemingly routine question from teens like, “why don't you come to synagogue on Shabbat or the holidays,” or “why don't you come to the recent lecture that was held locally?” The answer is always the same: "PEOPLE JUDGE ME." And when I ask them to clarify, that is when they pour their heart out.
And i quote: The other day I came to the synagogue for Shabbat services and someone, (usually one of the "moreorthodox") came over to me and asked why I have come to Shul with a mohawk or why I even have such a haircut". Another example: "why would you come to Shul wearing jeans? don't you own a suit?
To me this is one of the greatest problems that our community is facing today. For the past 35 years, the thirst for Jewish knowledge has been growing rapidly. The only thing that is holding more people from getting more involved in their heritage is the judgmental attitude that some people hold, because of exhasted ideas such as that there needs to be a dress code and without it everything else is meaningless. Don't get me wrong. There is definitely a need for a certain decorum when going in to a holy sanctuary, but it should not be on the top 5 things a person is approached about when they are taking a step towards growth. Instead, why not reach out with a simple invitation to coffee, or a Shabbat meal, or just a friendly talk just to let the other person feel and KNOW that he belongs! One of my rabbis, the world famous author and Jewish historian, Rabbi Berrel Wein once told us “if you want to look Jewish, wear a turban and a long coat, because that is what Jews wore for thousands of years.”
Before we judge anyone negatively, let us take a moment and think about what it means to be one nation. When we received the Torah at mount Sinai the Rabbis tell us that we gathered there "KeIsh Echad Belev Echad," "like One Man with One Heart." No one criticized, no one judged!
May we merit the patience and the vigilance it takes to be simply good people, and more importantly, good Jews.
--By: Rabbi Yitzkhok Sakhai
Posts
Chinese Japanese, what's the difference Rabbi?
ReplyDeleteGreat post by the way. Totally agree with it. It seems that being "Orthodox" these days requires that we alos become arrogant and judgmental!
Thank you Digiridoo,
ReplyDeletewell we also need to understand that after all we are human and bound to make mistakes. The important thing is what we do to fix them.
I happen to agree with you guys. I happen to be a baal teshuvah, by the sense of being judged by other seemingly observant Jews threatened to turn me off to the whole thing completely. thank G-d I stayed with the program and now am a baal teshuvah.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Rabbi for your post. I am glad at least one person gets it.
important post: some observations. happy minyan never judges anyone; they welcome everyone with ahavas yisroel all the time. i have to say this: i went "shul shopping" to a number of synagogues. at the ashkenaz ones, no one said a word to me. no greeting, no smile, nothing, for the most part. this at mincha time. but, at the sefaradi ones? people greeted me, someone put out their hand to welcome me. the synagogue where i go regularly is where they were the most welcoming. i didn't have a mohawk. there was one sefaradi place where, since i have lighter colored eyes and hair, a guy, unbelievably, said: what are you doing here?. but this was a dramatic exception.
ReplyDeleteyour description of people feeling judged is very painful to read. the jewish people don't have enough problems in the world? and, observant people should know much, much better.
there should be an ongoing campaign in all the synagogues to welcome people. this is what avraham was known for. hel-loooo!!!???
and observant people know about sinat chinam causing the churban and ahavat chinam being the solution. or at least they should know! (baseless hate vs baseless love).
how many people will read and wake up from this piece? don't know. but a big campaign should be started and maintained in all the synagogues. the members should know that a new or different person is actually doing them a favor! giving them the opportunity for a great mitzvah.
ps
ReplyDeletethe synagogues i went to were in the valley village area. the description of ashkenaz places is not intended to cover all of them. there were 2 black hat shuls and one chabad. there were 5 sefaradi places.
To anonymous above:
ReplyDeleteI haven't been to Happy Minyan so i don't know. But I am not sure I wish to go to Aish hatorah or a Chabad shul ever again. Arrogant and judgmental as all heck!!!!!!
Its so sad, becasue i always felt that Chabad was welcoming and tolerant, and I became religious through a Chabad Rabbi. The arrogance though, the sense of being better than anyone else...OMG, I tried and tried, but everytime I was disgusted about how superior these guys felt to the rest of the Jews!!
Anyway, I happen to agree with the Rabbi. I think this is a great post and a necessary one! Hope people take it to heart and take steps to improve themselves.
Thank you all for your participation and comments.
ReplyDeletePlease keep in mind though that, as you can discern from Rabbi Sakhai's post, the objective is to point out areas where our community can improve itself and to create unity and harmony. Please refrain from posting comments that may be misunderstood as attempts at finger pointing or those that might create animosity in our community.
Thank you.
Thank you so much for all your wonderful comments. Like PiRo Social Club said above: Let's let's keep our eyes on what matters and that is Unity. Let's NOT point any fingers and cause any misunderstandings.
ReplyDeleteKudos to Rabbi Y. Courageous post. Please keep em coming!!!
ReplyDeleteI don't want to point any fingers here and I won't. I agree with the Rabbi assertion that the focus should be on fixing ourselves, but its unfortunate that while we profess to be emulating Hashem, we do tend to feel superior to others and act repulsively judgmental. As pointed our above, this even happens within the community itself, where one group or shul express their arrogance superiority over the others.
We are all children of Hashem, we are all students of Moshe Rabbeinu.
Rabbi, I for one will take your message to heart and try to bring about change starting with myself.
@Miriam: many chabad's are wonderful. please disregard my comment on this one place. may Hashem bless all of us with overflowing ahavat yisrael.
ReplyDeletehere is a possible solution: if you go to a place and do not feel welcome. you can simply tell the rabbi. it's up to him to set the tone for the shul. you could do this later, by phone, in person. but do it in a gentle way. maybe this is constructive? maybe not? maybe it's just Hashem showing you that a particular place is not for you? i don't know.
ReplyDeletebest solution: everyone should take upon themselves to show more ahavat yisrael and welcome people! its says this in pirke avot: be the first to say 'shalom aleichem'! a simple smile and/or greeting goes a long way. how much the world you can change? who knows? but you can bring ahavat yisrael and ahavat bnei adam wherever YOU go!!! may Hashem help all of us.
ReplyDelete